


crunchity munchity

by totaldwama



Category: Total Drama (Cartoon)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Rabies, also this was like, find out next time on dragon ball z!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11, inspired by a mixture of some hunger games simulations, so uh wig, will i ever tag anything at all????
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-26 14:04:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18283781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totaldwama/pseuds/totaldwama
Summary: "TYLER. YOU FUCKING CUCKLORD. ARE YOU STILL FUCKING MY WIFE LIKE I ASKED Y...what the shit"





	crunchity munchity

**Author's Note:**

> this was written with the influence of both S3RL *and* mother mother songs. perfect recipe for ferality coming from me eh eh

    "ALSO returming to camp with the glassesed and teethed one," the stubbly Chris spoke handsomely, "is the illustrious Dungus."

    "Please," Dungus said. "The Illustrious Dungus was my father. Call me dung."

    but then Dungcan remembered. He had some VERY IMPORTANT maybe ILLEGAL business to attend to yes... yes...  
  
    "TYLER" he fucking YELLED as he EXPLODED into the cabin like BOOM! "TYLER. YOU FUCKING CUCKLORD. ARE YOU STILL FUCKING MY WIFE LIKE I ASKED Y...what the shit"

    "oh thank FUCK" Corgi announced, retracting the scalpel she was using to surgically remove all of Tyler's vital organs. "This dude has got the IQ of a fucking walnut. Approximately zero, that is. He's already a vegetable, so I'm being a _**Cool Vegan**_ and eating his goddamned liver."  
  
    "Huh," dungus thought aloud. "That's wack..cause his dick wasn't a carrot."

    "how the fuck do you know that, gaylord?" oh SHIT it was TYLER back from the dead to be RABID and A GENERAL INCONVENIENCE!!!!

    "You don't even have a dick," Courtney said with passion. "I snatched it. Just like Gwen snatched Justin's." Then she looked at **D u n g u s**. "Sus. Watch this." She whipped out tyler's goddamn fucking not-a-carrot dick and threw it out the window. Everyone heard Gwen screech (was she hiding in the dumpssstter again!!! god damn it GWEAN.) but didnt think anything of it because. Let's face it. That bitch a freak.

    "AW FUCK COURTNEY NO" Tyler screamed. "MY DICK"

    "bitch knows you goddamn dint even use it" Courtney retorted, badass. "Anyway."

    Before she could say whatever the fuck she was gonna say, Tyler started going absolutely fucking apeshit. He conveniently forgot he was cut open and stuff on top of a table, so when he got his rabies going and stood up his organs and bones and shit all fell off. Out. ... Off? Whatever.

    "u..ungh...call the 911" he said in desperation trying to put his lungs back on/in/on??/in?????????/fuck you

    "Tyler, shut up, and get the fuck out. I'm gonna fuck my wife now." However... Tyler could not shut up. He could not get the fuck out. Dungo was perfectly capable of fucking his very own wife, but Tyler was just like dying right there on the floor and courtney was like "really? right in front of this salad? this nasty and leafy little boy?"

    "Hey :)" gwen said, emerging from the floorboards. Courtney and Duncan looked on in both horror and confusion as she moved like a fucking spider monkey, or ferret, or something. Like an animal that moves really smooth... all waterlike and shit. Maybe a cat would work? ... No, cats have too many bones. Ferrets are just boneless little men. Cats are filled with bones. They are also loud and rude, and probably lesbians, like Eva. Eva and her skeleton. But whatever, Gwen didn't have normal bones. Maybe she didn't even have bones at all. Shane Dawson is quaking in his boots, gamers...

    She clambered across the floor and dragged the dying salad boy down into her cave. "DinnerTime Now :)! Thank You"

    The two tax evaders tried to ignore the crunches and munches coming from underground. Like, they were used to Tyler screaming, but the sound of his bones being consumed by an absolute cryptid? New territory.

    Because of those crisp, cronchy monchies, there was no way **D U N G O** could fuck his wife. God damn Tyler, that fucking cuck. Even if he was dead or whatever, he was still a son of a bitch that deserved it. Gwen was gonna get cuck poisoning, like her meal was gonna get ruined and turned into some shitty Ke$ha parody song. She truly was cucknibal. She was also fucking ill from eating that damn lad!

    "UUuuUUuuuUUuuUuuuuuguuhguhgghhghh"

    And that, my kids, is the story of how Duncan got cucked by a prey animal. And also how Gwen got exposed for being a fucking cannnibal hooooly sheeeeeeIT

**Author's Note:**

> i am very tired just... very very tired.. spring break is almost over and i made the title of this fic an inside joke between me and one of my friends because i cant WAIT to go back to school and just go absolutely apeshit. not very in character of me but im valid to have friend aight? aight. hwwig


End file.
